


Caustics

by engineerLiger



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Agni Kai (Avatar), Angst, Awkwardness, Azula (Avatar) Recovery, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula is in prison at the start, Bitterness, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Friends, Conflicting Feelings, Dysfunctional Family, Eventual Fluff, Everybody lies in this at some point, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, POV Multiple, POV Third Person Limited, Pai Sho, Prison, Restraints like manacles and chains, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, background ships are canon ships, ignores comic canon, just a little, lying, mild slow burn, you know at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29160447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engineerLiger/pseuds/engineerLiger
Summary: Who is Azula, if not the firebending prodigy, the ideals and cruelty of the Fire Nation made flesh?A series of short moments experienced by different people as Azula recovers.
Relationships: Aang & Azula (Avatar), Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 99





	1. Mai — Sun

**Author's Note:**

> This work hinges on the assumption that Mai and Ty Lee used to like Azula when they were kids. I think most people here agree on that, even if I feel like the canon does not really want us to. It also works on the premise that what happened to Azula at the end of the show was something more like a brief reactive psychosis. I don't think the comics support this, but I also don't like the way the comics have handled Azula at all. I will take a little here and there from them but will not adhere to canon outside of the show (and LoK). 
> 
> I am also not aiming for a necessarily realistic portrayal of mental health, because that is out of the scope of anything I can accomplish. I am just aiming for something that feels right to me. There are references to restraints, mostly manacles and others, and its just because Azula is basically in prison at first. I still can't believe straitjackets are canon in the avatar universe and apparently okay to use on children. References and discussion of the possibility of self harm happen, but this story contains no self harm or discussion in detail.
> 
> Each chapter is told from a different perspective and the writing style is supposed to reflect that. Mai is a lot more dramatic in her imagery because she's goth as hell and gets to be melancholic as opposed to Zuko's POV that is more direct for example. I am writing these as a relaxing project and am less meticulous so please excuse the grammar and slow updates.

Mai hated the sun. She hated the way it rose and fell every day, hated how it made her eyes sting and leave after images that would not go away, no matter how tightly she shut her eyes. Firebenders needed the sun, they drew their power from it and built their lives around it. Mai was no firebender and she was glad for it. She would never need it; would never depend on something no one could control.

Azula had been like the sun, after they had joined war, before the war, as long as Mai had known her. And maybe at some point, when they had been children, Mai had liked to stand in the sun. Azula had shined bright, her fire burning hotter than that of a child ever should. A child that bent the power of the sun to her will as those around her had watched in awe. When Mai had begun despising the sun she did not know. Had it been when she realized that she could not keep the sun from rising every day? Or had it been when she stared at the sun for too long, stared at it until her eyes had hurt for days? Did it even matter?

Looking at Azula now, lying in the dark, no window for the setting sun to shine through, Mai wondered how she could have mistaken a little girl for something so inevitable as the sun. Azula would not shine again, unlike the sun that was sure to rise again. Mai probably should not be thinking about the girl she had met at school, a little girl that had long been swallowed by the painful glare of the sun.

Azula was whimpering, hands and feet in chains, her body scuffing against the cold stone ground. Make-up smeared over her face, tears and snot blended in between. Mai could not hear the choked-out syllables, the mad ramblings between sobs and cries.

“Is she awake? Does she know we are here?” asked Ty Lee standing beside her. She was staring at Azula. Ty Lee wore that face-paint covering her with that ghoulish white and bright reds and distorting her features. It looked out of place on her. She looked like a stranger. Mai hated it, hated it like she hated the sun, like Mai hated many things. Mai had always been spiteful, had disliked so many things, maybe just as many things as Ty Lee loved.

Ty Lee had not looked away yet, but Ty Lee had always liked to look at the sun too much, had stared at it directly and always just a little too long. Ty Lee was no firebender and yet, when they were children, she had built her life around the sun. But so had Mai, mesmerized by the same fire, the same girl that was just a little too mean, a little too cruel. That girl who had shone just a little too bright.

They have not been children for a long time.

Ty Lee barely moved since they had arrived, all she did was stare at Azula. When Zuko replied she did not even look at him.

“I don’t think so.”

Gone where the heavy robes from yesterday’s coronation, the crown was nowhere to be seen. No sign of his royalty or status weight on him, and yet as he stood in front of the iron bars that held his sister captive he looked just as burdened as he did when accepting his crown, when accepting the responsibility for a nation and the responsibility for a history of war and hatred. Maybe, in a way, this was just an extension of that burden.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted.

By all measures Zuko should have hated his sister, the one that had burned him, left a wound covering his chest and that would mark him with a scar. Just like their father once did. But Mai knew better. She knew that Zuko was too kind. His fire had never burned like his sister’s. He had never shone so brightly that it had hurt to look at.

“Can’t the Avatar just take away her bending?” Mai asked. She ignored the horrified gasp escaping Ty Lee, who did not even bother to look at Mai for all her apparent dismay at the option. Mai turned away from Azula, from Ty Lee, looking only at Zuko who glanced at her.

“He could, but,” his words came heavy and slow, “that was my father’s punishment. The punishment for a lifetime of war. Azula is just 14.”

“She is dangerous,” Mai said. She knew she did not need to remind Zuko or Ty Lee of the violence and cruelty that was Azula. They knew, but maybe they did not understand, that as long as Azula’s fire continued to burn she would burn down any future they would try to build. Not just their future, her own future as well. Azula would burn herself to ashes as her rage consumed everyone around her. She had seen it at the Boiling Rock.

“Maybe, but in here, she can’t hurt anyone,” Zuko said.

He was wrong, Azula was hurting people, right now. She was hurting Zuko who helplessly watched what was left of his sister writhing on the prison floor, trapped in a nightmare, unaware of her surroundings. She was hurting Ty Lee who could not admit to herself that the girl they both had grown up with had been gone for much longer than just the last few weeks of this war, that she had been gone for years, that she might have never existed in the first place.

Mai wondered how much of her resentment stemmed from memories of lightning sparking between Azula’s fingers, ready to strike Mai down, or from seeing Zuko’s chest bandaged, the flesh underneath singed, and how much came from remembering a little girl she wished to forget. During the war, she had been able to forget, it was easy then. Azula in her polished armour and heavy make-up did not look like a 14-year-old child. She looked nothing like a little girl who sulked over not getting her favourite dessert and played pranks on them. But now that the war had stripped her of all dignity, stripped her off all that armour and took that crown she had desired so much, Mai remembered that little girl.

She did not want to feel sympathy, she did not want to feel regret. When looking at Azula all she wanted to feel was contempt, maybe satisfaction, they had won after all. In the end Azula had lost everything and they had won everything. Azula had made her own choices. Azula was cruel, always has been. There was no reason to feel sorry for her. It angered Mai. She cared about so little things in the world, was bored of most of them, why did she have to care about this of all things.

“She could hurt herself.”

Mai did not mean to say it, because she did not want them to think she cared. Azula hurting herself should have been a form of justice, retribution for all the pain she caused.

The torches lighting the hallway flickered as Zuko held his breath, jaw clenched, his fists hanging at his sides.

“She wouldn’t!” Ty Lee said a little too loud, too high. Her voice sounded wrong inside the stone halls of this prison. It was a voice that did not belong in a prison, almost child-like, and yet this was not the first time Mai had heard it like that, resounding of cold prison walls. Azula had made sure of that. Ty Lee flinched, surprised by her own voice and its volume ringing in their ears.

Azula must have heard it, it should have been enough to wake her, but when Mai looked back to the girl in the cell there was no comprehension. Mai saw no reaction, like nothing had happened Azula continued to moan and sob. Mai wondered how it was possible to cry and scream for so long. So many emotions, it must have been exhausting. Yesterday, after the coronation, Zuko had spoken with Mai about Azula’s condition. He mentioned that when Katara had bested her and chained her to the grates two weeks ago, his sister had howled for hours until she collapsed. Since then, Azula had been taken to this cell, given proper chains, ones that would be less likely to break her joints in a fit of rage. The manacles certainly still could, but they were fitted properly and were less likely to injure her. According to her brother Azula had been calmer when she first woke up in here, she had cried and sobbed and rambled to herself, but she did not tear at her chains, did not spit fire in uncontrolled rage.

Maybe Mai should have known that this was inevitable. It was the natural conclusion to a life of control and perfection. Had Zuko told Ty Lee the same things he had told her? The rumours must have reached Ty Lee. Those hushed whispers accompanied by righteous glee. Everyone talked about the mad princess. Mai and Ty Lee had heard some of those rumours together during their travel to the coronation. But no rumours spoke of the hallucinations, not as far as Mai knew. She had only learned of it through Zuko. He had witnessed it a day before the coronation and it had broken his heart, latter he did need to tell her, Mai could hear it in his voice. At first, he had believed she was talking to him, but soon he realized what was happening, understood that Azula was not coming to her senses but was talking to a mother only she could see. Azula had been responsive before, or at least showed clear signs of recognition even as she ignored the world around her out of spite, as if she could bend reality to her will as long as she did not acknowledge it. But Zuko had suspected that news of the coronations must have gotten to her, maybe the guards had let it slip, in either case Zuko had explained to Mai that for the last few days Azula had been worse again.

“I don’t know Ty Lee,” Zuko said. He covered his eyes with his hands.

“Come on, guys! It’s Azula! She would never do something stupid like that!”

Mai and Zuko had many things in common, also differed in many ways, it was a good balance she thought, and one thing both agreed on was a mutual dislike for Ty Lee’s baseless optimism. She remembered how Zuko had mocked Ty Lee on Ember Island, his patience having run its course, not that he ever had a lot of patience for Ty Lee in particular. They had never gotten along all that well, and maybe that had been Azula’s influence, or that, whereas Mai and Ty Lee were so different it worked out for the two of them, Ty Lee and Zuko were not different enough. While Mai always had been a pessimist, she would never deny that, deep down Zuko never was. It could also just have been that Ty Lee had enjoyed teasing Zuko a little too much when they were kids. She always had been just a step behind Azula, with mischievous giggles shared between the two of them.

Was that girl on the prison floor even really Azula, Mai wanted to ask, but did not. It was a question, too complicated for her to care about, it brought along too many feelings for her think to about it. Who was Azula, if not the firebending prodigy, the ideals and cruelty of the Fire Nation made flesh? That had always been Azula’s role in life.

“I hope she will calm down again in the next few days,” Zuko said. He was side-stepping the debate on whether Azula was capable of hurting herself. He was probably right to do so, no one really wanted to talk about that possibility, and no one knew the answer to that anyway. While Mai had not been surprised to hear of Azula’s breakdown, she had not exactly seen it coming, not like this at least. Certainly, Zuko might have called his sister crazy more often than he could count, but Mai was sure he had never meant it quite so literally. None of them had predicted Azula going mad, so how were they supposed to tell what else Azula might do?

“Is she going to stay here?” Ty Lee asked.

“For now,” Zuko said. “I don’t think it’s good to keep her this close to father,” he explained after a short pause. A flight of stairs and a short walk was all that laid between the man who proclaimed himself Phoenix King and his daughter. It should have been unsettling, knowing he was there, but Mai had spent too much time in the palace to feel uneasy about it and knowing he did not have his bending, nor his pride, helped too.

“Zuko, why are we even here?”

He looked at her, in the same way her parents had often looked at her; surprised by her apathy and struck with let-down expectations. She hated those expectations, the assumption that she should care about things, the surprise when she did not. Her parents had learned at some point, had focused their energy on Tom-Tom who was too young to disappoint. She had thought everyone else had too, but Zuko always had been a bit of an exception and his disappointment stung more than that of her parents had. At least he had the decency to try to hide it, which only made it worse for Mai, but he did not need to know that.

“I thought,” Zuko said, “I thought you two, you would like to,” he struggled through the sentence, “you might like to see her.”

“Well, we have seen her, can we leave? This place is depressing.”

“Mai!”

Unlike Zuko, Ty Lee did nothing to hide her disappointment. Finally, Ty Lee looked away from Azula, looked at Mai, but her distress meant nothing to Mai. Why should it? With all that paint, how was this face any different than that of a stranger? Ty Lee had no right to force these feelings from her, dressed in hideous green and yellow, barely recognizable as Mai’s childhood friend.

“What?” Mai said and forced herself to look at Ty Lee, she would not let Ty Lee push misplaced guilt onto her. “She threw us in prison, now she is in prison, who cares.”

“She is our friend!”

“Oh please, we were never really her friends.” That was a lie, comforting but transparent. It would be so much easier if Azula had always just used them, forced them to pretend to like her. It would be easier if Mai had no fond memories of her, but she did, from before the war and some even from during the war. But Mai was also convinced that latter, those fond memories during the war, were also something that Ty Lee would not admit to. Not while she wore those green robes and that stupid face paint; not while she paraded her supposed change in front of everyone, so easy to see, like putting on the uniform of the winners could be enough.

“You know that’s not true,” Ty Lee said, and Mai hated her for it. Why couldn’t they all just pretend, it would be better that way. If they all pretended not to care, they could leave all those fond memories of Azula with the ashes of the old Fire Nation, the ashes of a war that had raged for 100 years. Like they all pretended their families did not benefit from the spoils of that war, had not built their fortunes and homes on its foundation. Azula would be just another power-hungry would-be dictator, from a line of tyrants. One day kids will read about her just like they will read about Sozin or Azulon, their friendship would not even be a footnote in the history books.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. How would you help her? Look at her. Tell me, Ty Lee, what does her aura look like?”

Ty Lee did not answer, she only stared at Mai with surprise and hurt written over her face.

“Thought as much.”

Zuko did not stop her when she left the prison, neither did Ty Lee. So, Mai left them standing there, helplessly staring at Azula who looked more like that little girl they knew than she had in years. They wanted Mai to care, needed her to care the way they themselves did. They should have known better, but what was one more betrayal between the four of them anyway?


	2. Zuko — Information Asymmetry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Zuko here, so the thing is....
> 
> Zuko visits a responsive Azula and needs to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POVs can repeat, so we will be seeing more from Zuko's and Mai's perspective.
> 
> I hope you all have fun with the chapter. I know I did.
> 
> Edit: Fixed Kyoshi spelling. Also fixed some minor other stuff in chapter 1 and in this one.

Zuko had a bad habit of dragging his feet. Making decisions did not come easy to him, which made the crown on his head a lot less comfortable. But he supposed that a crown should never be too comfortable anyway. Maybe that had been the problem in his family all along. Either way, today he dragged his feet in a more literal way. His steps were slow, and he took every detour he could imagine. Behind him an entourage of guards, including one Kyoshi Warrior, followed him and Zuko could feel their anxiety mirroring his own. Nobody was really looking forward to these visits to his sister. Unlike with his father, there was still the distinct possibility of a fireball hurled at their heads.

But this one was important. It had been a week since he had taken Mai and Ty Lee to his sister’s cell. His prediction had been right, Azula had calmed down. The shock of hearing about the coronation must have worn out, or at least that was what Zuko assumed. Azula still ignored him when he attempted to talk to her. She also made it her job to be as difficult as possible, by scaring the guards at every opportunity or refusing meals by kicking over the tray. It was infuriating but, Zuko told himself regularly, she at least seemed better.

For today’s visit he had put on his formal robes and had tied his hair proper. He was still not used to attendants fussing over him, so he had done it by himself, now that his injury was not limiting his movements too much anymore. Mai had watched, fingernails tapping on her folded arms. They did not talk about Azula a lot. It was a topic firmly avoided, and when they could not Mai engaged in the conversation with the same enthusiasm, she reserved for talking about cooking or whatever else Mai did not care for. This morning was the same and Zuko knew not to approach her about his concerns about Azula. It was not that Mai did not care about it, since they had visited her together Zuko could see little hints of something that he recognized as worry. Mai was not and probably would never be the best at being in touch with her feelings, or least not openly. She had been pretty direct and clear with him when it had been about their feelings for each other or their relationship, but even that was often filtered through that mask of apathy. Mai liked to pretend she did not care, and Zuko was not going to force her to talk to him about it.

He wished he had a little more support though. The situation with Azula was getting to him. Guards had notified him about smaller outbursts, nothing as severe as during the Agni Kai or when he had visited with Mai and Ty Lee. Without much of a warning Azula would just randomly start sobbing and sometimes she pulled at her hair. He was grateful that so far no one had seen her use fire. These fits of emotions came and went by without much harm to Azula or the people around her. They were also short, maybe half an hour or so, at nights they would be a little longer but Azula would calm down on her own at some point before morning.

It worried him, even more so since he was going to talk to her about their father today. He had put it off as long as he could, but next week he and Mai would be travelling to Ba Sing Se with the Avatar. Katara, Sokka, Suki and Toph had already left by boat and Aang was anxious to meet up with them again. He did not say it, but Zuko could tell. Their stay in Ba Sing Se would be Zuko’s first official visit as Fire Lord and he already dreaded the amount of work that would await him as he sat in meetings trying to fix the relationship with the Earth Kingdom. He did look forward to seeing his uncle again though and was sure Uncle Iroh would support him wherever he could.

Before leaving he wanted to make sure Azula knew about their father and was stable enough to be left alone in the Fire Nation. It would not do him any good in negotiations and peace talks if all he did was worry about his sister. He wished Aang could have just taken her bending for two weeks or so, just until he got back and could watch over her again. It was not just a potential escape he worried about; it was Mai’s concern about Azula hurting herself. It had stuck with him, an uneasy thought that accompanied him when he fell asleep at night.

He wondered if he had made the right call, putting on the crown this morning. It felt silly, this polished little thing sitting atop of his head while he walked through the stone halls of the prison. This was no place for royalty, and yet this prison had already held three members of the royal family. Zuko’s idea was that maybe seeing the crown, seeing his robes and guards might make it impossible for Azula to feign ignorance of reality. The reality that he was now in charge, that her destiny was in his hands. It would be harder to ignore him he thought, it would lend this visit a sort of officiality. He wondered if that was the reason Ty Lee had been in full face paint and robes when they visited together. His robe and crown made him feel more secure, they were proof of what happened and that the time where Azula could have controlled and manipulated him was over. He imagined that Ty Lee might feel similar. Then on other hand Zuko supposed, it was Ty Lee and maybe she just really liked the face paint.

Azula did not look up to him as he approached her cell. The Kyoshi Warriors to either side of the door stood up a little straighter. They owed him no loyalty but had given it freely and Zuko liked to think that that was how it’s supposed to be. He wanted no more loyalty based on duty or fear, but wanted to see it as something given, like the gift that it was. He trusted them a lot more than the Fire Nation guards that fell in line regardless of who wore the crown. It was one of the reasons they had been added to his protective detail and stood guard at the prison. There was six of them that rotated through their assignments, eight if you counted Suki and Ty Lee. Latter was exempted from the prison duty much to Zuko’s dismay, even with Ty Lee’s promise that all her new sisters were quick learners and were able to chi-block just as well as she did. Zuko doubted that but could not bring himself to force Ty Lee to stand guard over Azula. It would not be good for either of them, and it was true that friendly visits from Ty Lee would be much more effective if the same girl didn’t keep Azula in a tiny prison cell all day.

“She has been calm. She ate a little bit of rice for breakfast. No nightmares tonight.”

It must have been weird to report on Azula like this after she had captured them and done even worse to their leader. Standing guard over their father was one thing but watching over Azula had to be hard for them. If not for the ability to chi-block Zuko would not have asked Suki to have them assigned here. And he had asked, really asked, politely, with the immediate follow-up that they could of course refuse. Part of him had already accepted a rejection before he had approached her and was surprised when Suki agreed without much of a pause.

“Azula,” Zuko said and cringed when he heard his voice resonate of the walls. He had attempted to sound firm, maybe even authoritative and achieved neither. She ignored him, probably regardless of the tone of his voice.

“Open the cell.”

The two Kyoshi Warriors exchanged a quick glance before one nodded and followed his command. Zuko had not entered the cell since he had brought his sister here. It was safer that way. They had allowed Azula a little movement with the chains, gave her enough freedom to move from one corner to a bed made of metal with some sparse blankets and a pot of water to wash herself with. Zuko had requested this after the first week of Azula’s stay in the cell. It would not help her get better to sleep in the dirt tied to a wall, even if it did make her more dangerous. It also helped him not to think of this as imprisonment. So far Azula had refused to sleep in the bed and according to guards had barely moved away from the corner her chains were embedded in. She had cleaned up a bit more though, used the water regularly and all rests of makeup and grime had been removed. It seemed Azula was still holding onto some dignity.

When he stepped inside the cell Zuko clasped his hands behind his back and pulled back his shoulders. Azula still did not look at him. “Azula, I have to talk to you,” he said and this time made no attempt to sound like anything but himself. Azula would look through any façade anyway and putting up a show would just make this harder on himself.

He had to repeat himself before Azula replied. “Has the great Fire Lord nothing better to do, or have you come to try to soothe your own conscience again, brother?” Her voice was strained and hoarse, probably from refusing the meals and water several times this week. She looked terrible, had lost weight so fast that Zuko genuinely felt uneasy looking at her. At least she was not cackling maniacally like she had in the Agni Kai, with her movements erratic and unhinged.

“I need to talk to you about father,” Zuko said.

The answer came with a laugh, a little high pitched, but not the cackling he dreaded. “Oh please, Zuzu,” Azula said. The grin slipped from her face for just a second when she looked up at him, eyes fixed on the crown on his head. Then she laughed again. “I know about father, I am crazy, not stupid.”

Zuko did not know how to reply. He was certain he had reprimanded the guards and sworn them to secrecy about their father’s fate. He frowned.

“If daddy dearest were still alive, you would not be wearing that crown, or bothering me for that matter.” Azula looked smug, just like Zuko remembered her. “Did you want to spar my feelings by being the one to tell me?”

Zuko closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Just a second to regain his composure, a sign of weakness in front of his sister certainly, but he had information his sister did not. “Father is not dead, Azula,” he said.

“Why are you lying to me, Zuzu?” Azula asked and shook her head. She smiled, ugly and condescending, like she was talking to a particularly stupid toddler. “There is no way he is alive and would let a traitor run around with that crown.”

“It’s true. The Fire Lord lost to the Avatar, he is rotting away in a cell as we speak.”

“Are you trying to bore me to tears with your little show? I can tell you’re lying. You’ve never been good at it.”

Zuko had not expected this. He felt a small amount of guilt for not having talked to Azula about this earlier, that he had unknowingly left her in the belief that their father had died. Not that it mattered much to him, after all he had tried to push Aang to kill him, but Azula probably cared. Or at least he thought she did, he wasn’t sure. Either way he probably should have known Azula would come to this conclusion once she had heard about the coronation.

“There is no prison that could hold the -” Azula said and stopped for a moment. In a quieter voice she continued. “Phoenix King.” Zuko suspected that Azula still felt betrayed by their father’s sudden proclamation. The smugness was replaced by anger as she referred to his title. “Don’t kid yourself, Zuzu. Nobody would follow you, not if father were still around.”

She was not completely wrong. If Aang had not taken his bending, there would have been no way their father could have been contained in a prison cell. And if he still had his bending, Zuko was certain, he would have never been able to take the throne. But rendered powerless with no bending, their father had been reduced to a shell of the man he portrayed himself to be. A man without the strength that had forced loyalty and respect throughout the ranks. No one would risk their life to serve him, not anymore.

“Azula, father cannot bend anymore. The Avatar took away his bending on the day of the comet. Permanently.”

He did not know how she would react to that and had dreaded telling her. Where Aang had gotten this power, a power that was nothing short of a miracle, was something he had decided to skip over. Azula did not need to hear the tale about the giant lion turtle, it was certain to be no help with Azula’s already slipping sanity.

“You know I am not lying. There is no reason for me to lie about this and you said it yourself, I am terrible at lying.”

Azula had grown quiet. She hung her head and Zuko could tell her breathing was growing erratic. He culled the impulse to check on her, it would be foolish to approach her now. So, he just stood there and watched her for a while as he tried to come up with something that would convince Azula of something that should have been impossible.

“Once you are better,” Zuko did not know what better entailed or even looked like, “you can see it for yourself. Father is just upstairs.” He steeled his features as he realized that he should not have said that, that he had slipped up. He hoped Azula would not notice. Before coming he had thought about what Azula could know. The location of their father was one of the things had had intended to keep from her, at least for now. Another thing was their trip to Ba Sing Se, he was not naïve enough to believe that telling Azula the perfect time to escape wouldn’t end in a disaster.

“You’re lying!” Azula screamed. Raising her voice like that must have hurt. It sounded like it did. Zuko almost flinched with the sudden outburst but maintained his composure. Barely.

“I am not!”

Then, just as quickly, Azula grew calm again. “Then why do I still have my bending, brother?” she said, like she had just moved her last tile before winning a match of Pai Sho. She often talked to him like that, like she was perpetually outsmarting him. It was grating to hear, and it angered Zuko that Azula would use the mercy granted to her just to one up him.

“You still have your bending, because Aang is far kinder than either of us, and because I vouched for you.”

Azula laughed, again, still condescending. Zuko struggled to control his temper, there was no use in shouting at his sister. It wouldn’t help either of them, he reminded himself as her laughing subsided into a giggle.

“Oh yes, because you care so much about me. What a likely story,” Azula said, before her smile fell, an angry scowl carving itself into her features. “Unless,” she began saying as her eyes widened, and Zuko thought for a second he could see fear grasping her. “Leverage. Why else would you tell me this? If you had such a weapon…”

“You have nothing on me, there is nothing left for me. But as long as you can threaten to take away my bending…”

“That’s not why! We are not threatening you!”

Zuko had not thought about it like that, he would never have come to that conclusion. But what Azula said made sense, from her perspective, it made sense as long as you ignored that Aang would never hold something like this over a person. It made sense if you did not understand Aang’s almost unending kindness. Azula suspecting that Zuko would be using such tactics, was only natural, it is what they had been taught. It was what she would do. This realization did not make Zuko happy.

Azula rolled her eyes. “Who are you trying to convince, brother?”

“We are not trying to coerce you.”

“Why tell me now?”

“I will be busy,” not a lie. “I won’t be able to visit you as often,” again not a lie. Azula was right when she had said that he was bad at lying. So, he had decided to simply not lie, just tell a limited truth. It was a tactic Azula had used often enough for him to learn from.

“Oh no,” Azula said theatrically, “what will I do without my favourite visitor?” She scoffed.

“Don’t worry, Ty Lee will pick up my slack I am sure,” Zuko replied. He smiled at her, as much as Azula did not value their attempts to help her, Zuko would not stop trying and firmly believed that deep down Azula appreciated getting visitors.

“Do you really think that traitor has the guts to come here?” Azula laughed again, this time it was a little too close to a cackle for Zuko to be comfortable.

“Has Ty Lee not been visiting you?” Zuko asked and regretted it immediately. He couldn’t help himself; he had been so sure Ty Lee was visiting his sister. After Mai had left the two of them standing in front of Azula’s cell they had talked about it. She had promised him that she would. After all she wouldn’t want Azula to feel all alone she had said. Zuko had not doubted her, he saw no reason to when Ty Lee had smiled at him so encouragingly. He remembered how relieved he felt, relieved that there was at least one other person cared enough about his sister and was willing to help.

“Unlike you, that traitor has the good sense to be afraid of me. You could have the Avatar guard me and that coward wouldn’t dare showing her face here,” Azula said. Suddenly her eyes flitted all over the cell for a moment and before Zuko could reply she continued. “Say, are you running out of proper guards, or why do you keep those green robed peasants around?”

If Ty Lee had not visited yet, Azula was unaware that she had joined the so-called peasants. Then it was likely she was also unaware that the peasants had been taught chi-blocking. She wouldn’t be asking such a question if she knew about their newly acquired skill, Azula herself must have recognized just how useful this technique was or she would not have kept Ty Lee around. 

“They are less likely to harbour any misguided loyalty to father,” he replied and once again avoided lying. It would be better if Azula didn’t know just how capable her guards were, a chi block was a lot harder to dodge if you did not see it coming.

“Oh?”

“You know,” Zuko said. He watched Azula closely as he continued. “You should be nicer to Ty Lee.”

It was odd, that Zuko found himself on this side of the conversation, on the side that prodded, and looked carefully for openings. Azula had changed the topic from Ty Lee a little too quickly. His sister was not known for brevity when it came to insulting those that slighted her. Ty Lee was also a far less dangerous topic than the loyalty in his ranks or his choice of personnel. Zuko knew his sister to well, every bit of information he gave her would be used against him at some point.

So, he brought the topic back to Ty Lee and was rewarded. Azula glared at him, her shoulders pulled up to her ears and her jaw clenched. 

“Give me one reason why I wouldn’t kill that traitor on the spot,” Azula hissed.

“You could have killed her and Mai after the Boiling Rock. But you didn’t,” he said, and his sister snarled at him. “Instead, you threw them in prison.” Zuko, his hands still folded behind his back, holding his back straight, looked around the cell. Leisurely he let his eyes wander everywhere but his sister. She had done the same to him when they had been children, feigning disinterest in his reaction when telling him something upsetting. Always pretending it was beneath her, like that had not been the reason that she told him in first place.

“Because I wanted them to rot!” Azula screamed.

“You would have regretted killing Mai,” he said and watched her out of the corners of his eyes. It looked so easy when Azula did it, when she pretended not to care. If Azula had been stable, there was no way he could have goaded her like that. He wondered if Azula even noticed what he was doing.

“Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night, Zuzu?” Azula said. Her words came out short and clipped as she forced them out between her teeth. She was trying to gain the upper hand again. “I am sorry to disappoint you, brother.”

“No, Azula. I don’t need to. I know you would have,” Zuko replied. “It bothers you doesn’t it? That you couldn’t have them executed, that you knew you would have regretted it. Father would never have shown such weakness. But you aren’t father, Azula.”

Azula laughed. “Does it make you feel better, pretending I wouldn’t have enjoyed killing your girlfriend?”

She emphasized the word girlfriend. It was a cheap ploy to get an emotional reaction out of him, but Zuko was not the same boy Azula had grown up with, not anymore. He was in control now and the way she said it, it sounded ugly and spiteful, made it hard not to pity her.

“Mai was your friend first,” he said and paused for a moment. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Before she was my girlfriend, she was your friend.”

Then before he left the cell, he looked at her. Her shoulders were shaking and once he would have been afraid of the rage he could see. Now he did not bother hiding the pity he felt for her. She deserved it, in more ways than one.


	3. Ty Lee — Realities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty Lee goes to see Azula. Two people struggle facing the new realities of a post-war world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ty Lee is an odd person to write.

Zuko and Mai had left two days ago. They were off to Ba Sing Se to sit in meetings and drink tea. Not exactly Ty Lee’s idea of a good time, though being stuck in the capital with not a lot to do now that the Fire Lord didn’t need protection wasn’t much better. Ty Lee was bored, really bored. Sure, her new Kyoshi Warrior friends were fun, but all they wanted to do was train. Admittedly standing guard for Zuko hadn’t been that much fun either, standing still like that really made her feet hurt. What was fun, was to see one dignitary after the other come and go and make up stories about them. The usual things, like which one had a secret lover, or an obsessive love for the theatre. It wasn’t the height of entertainment but there was not much else that wouldn’t get her in trouble with the other Kyoshi Warriors. Before Suki had left, she always glared at Ty Lee whenever Ty Lee started tapping her feet or hum. Suki would scold her and say something about representing the Kyoshi Warriors. How did being a warrior entail so much standing still? It made no sense! It was the worst and now there wasn’t even a Suki to glare at her or a Fire Lord to guard.

Zuko being gone might have been for the better though. He had been angry with her, even though it wasn’t really fair. It wasn’t like she had lied to him. Really! She had meant to visit Azula. She just hadn’t gotten to it. She wasn’t like avoiding it or anything. There wasn’t anything to avoid, especially not lightning hurled at her by an outraged Azula. 

When she had promised Zuko to help, Azula had looked so fragile. But the other girls that stood guard in front of Azula’s cell had talked, and Ty Lee knew Azula was much better now. With Azula no longer lying on the prison floor sobbing helplessly, Ty Lee had the feeling that a visit might involve a lot more fire than Ty Lee was comfortable with. One could call it a hunch. 

Did she regret taking Azula down? No. Was she looking forward to facing her? Also, a definite no. And there was no one she could talk to about it, too! People kind of didn’t like Azula all that much. Ty Lee couldn’t blame them, but that made talking about it a little hard. She couldn’t talk with Mai about it either. Mai would just tell her to forget about it and infect her with that grey and cloudy auras of hers. You would think being reunited with Zuko would help with that, but Mai was as gloomy as ever. 

Keeping her own aura nice and pink was already hard enough without Mai. Whenever she would remember seeing Azula on that prison floor she could feel it dimming. Ty Lee tried very hard not to think about that memory. Similarly, she also worked very hard to forget about the rumours Mai and she had heard before they had arrived at the coronation. Those rumours that said that Azula had banished her staff in fits of paranoia and had called them traitors. The last one in particular made Ty Lee flinch. 

While Zuko had seemed to be convinced that her presence might help Azula, Ty Lee had started to seriously doubt it. In fact, it seemed like it would just make matters worse. What if seeing Ty Lee, would not just anger Azula but cause her to break down again? After all she was one of those traitors Azula suddenly feared after the Boiling Rock. What if she was the reason Azula had broken down in the first place! 

Mai had assured her, back when they had first heard the rumours, that it couldn’t have been caused by their actions alone. She had said that breaking down like that didn’t just happen overnight. But would Azula have broken down like that if they hadn’t betrayed her? Probably not, not like that at least. Or maybe she would have, but all these hypotheticals made Ty Lee's head swim and she just felt bad either way. Knowing she did the right thing helped. It didn’t erase that uncomfortable feeling in her stomach though. 

She had not expected that the Kyoshi Warriors would offer to work in the capital, she would have preferred it if the Kyoshi Warriors had immediately left after the coronation. At least then she wouldn’t have seen Azula like that. Then she could have remembered Azula the way she had been before the comet. Sure, she would still remember the Boiling Rock, and all the other things like setting Ty Lee’s safety net on fire, but Ty Lee could deal with that! Those memories would have been fine, but watching Azula cry and sob on that prison floor was something Ty Lee just wasn’t equipped to handle. Like what would she even say to her? Sorry, that your whole life is ruined, and you are in prison, and sick, and it’s probably my fault, and I would do it again, but really I am so sorry? For a moment Ty Lee had thought about buying a bunch of flowers, you know, just to make the place a little less sad! People liked gifts! Then she remembered that that place was prison and Azula was sick and no flowers in the world could fix that.

Sick, that’s what Zuko had called it, when he had first told her to accompany him to the prison after the coronation. The word left her feeling unbalanced. It was the same feeling that gathered in her gut whenever she stumbled in one of her routines. Then that feeling would last for a split second just before she fell, in that moment when she knew she had messed up and knew that it would hurt. With Azula this feeling lasted longer. That word, sick, it scared Ty Lee. Somehow it sounded so permanent.

In the end she didn’t have much of a choice, she had to go see Azula at some point. After days of frowning at her and sulking, Zuko had taken her aside just before he had left. Surprisingly, he hadn’t told her that he was disappointed or even blamed her for not keeping her word. Pacing back and forth he had rubbed his hand over his face while he spoke. Ty Lee had wondered if anyone had ever told Zuko how silly he looked when he acted like that. He was so nice about the whole breaking her promise thing. He had told her that he understood that it wasn’t easy, that Azula wasn’t easy, but that she didn’t need to be afraid of her. There are guards and she isn’t violent, don’t worry, or something like that he had said. But he made it clear that she needed to go now. With him far away in Ba Sing Se, he needed someone to check on her.

So, two days after Zuko had left Azula in her care Ty Lee had made her way to the prison. For three hours, she sat on the stone step of its main doors. Surrounded by stone walls that enclosed the empty courtyard she watched a flock of toucan puffins strut around like they owned the place. They might have as well, since the war had ended the prison had been practically emptied and the two current inhabitants weren’t exactly allowed yard time. Not that yard time was very appealing, the yard was barren and the pond was overgrown with green goo. Ty Lee sighed, she was bored and anxious at the same time. Going inside was out of the question, but leaving would mean breaking what little trust Zuko had in her. 

The Fire Army guards stationed directly outside the gate glanced at her now and then. On the walls Ty Lee could spot people in uniforms, most likely on patrol, but they paid her no mind. With her full Kyoshi Warrior getup on display they didn’t dare question her presence, or they had been told by Zuko to let her do as she pleased. The two standing to either side of her were clearly uncomfortable though. Considering she had been sitting there for three full hours without saying much beyond her initial mandatory identification it was understandable. Ty Lee probably ruined whatever security protocol thing they had going on. She sighed again, loud and theatrical. 

“Uh, everything alright?” Asked the slimmer of the two guards after clearing his throat awkwardly. He had a funny little beard growing at his chin and his uniform looked a little too big on him.

“No,” she said miserably. “I don’t know what to do…” 

“Well, maybe we can help?” The guard offered. “We don’t have anything better to do anyway.”

To Ty Lee’s left the other guard gasped. The second guard was a woman that was a good bit taller than the male guard to Ty Lee’s right and had a surprisingly high-pitched voice. “Fu! We are on duty!”

“Come on, Min! She seems troubled and nothing ever happens anyway,” he said and shrugged. Min grumbled something inaudible but relented. Ty Lee could relate, after standing guard with the Kyoshi Warriors she knew how boring it could be. A little entertainment went a long way during the long shifts and if she got somebody to talk to out of it, Ty Lee was happy to be of service. It was a win-win situation.

“Hypothetically, if you had a friend, who has been friends with another friend since they were, say, around 6 and attended the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, and they had a real bad fight and now your friend’s friend is really angry at your friend, what advice would you give your friend?”

“That’s like really vague,” said Fu. He stared at Ty Lee with raised eyebrows. 

“Well, okay, let’s say your friend called A-ko and her friend called B-ko have been best friends with C-ko. One day C-ko gets really angry with B-ko, like really really angry, and they fight. A-ko then stops C-ko from hurting B-ko, but now C-ko is really angry with both!”

“And you are… A-ko or B-ko?” asked Min.

“No, I am Ty Lee. I told you that when I got here!” Ty Lee said and frowned. “Anyway, now C-ko is sick and A-ko doesn’t know what to do, because C-ko is still angry but A-ko is worried about her but she also doesn’t want to make her even angrier?”

“If you ask me C-ko sounds like a real piece of work! A-ko just protected her friend!” said Fu crossing his arms in front of his chest. “She should be grateful A-ko still worries about her!”

Ty Lee beamed at him. “Right! A-ko didn’t do anything wrong, right?!” she said.

“Well yeah!” Fu smiled. He had a nice smile, toothy and honest. Ty Lee would have liked it if more people smiled like him. 

“Sure,” Min said, “but C-ko probably doesn’t think like that. Have you, I mean, has A-ko told C-ko that what she was doing is wrong?” She didn’t smile, and in turn Ty Lee didn’t like her as much. She was too serious, in fact her aura was just as gloomy as Mai’s. 

“Not in so many words.” Ty Lee said. Did chi-blocking someone count as telling them that what they were doing was wrong? A little, right? “C-ko is not really easy to talk to.” 

Min looked unimpressed. Fu on the other hand seemed to get fired up. “But they are friends,” he said. “If A-ko and C-ko talk to each other I am sure they can work it out! It might not be easy but they have been friends since they were kids, right? That’s gotta count for something!”

“Do you really think so?” Ty Lee asked.

“Of course!”

“Okay,” Ty Lee said, “but, like, let’s say C-ko can throw lightning bolts.”

“Wait wha—"

The prison’s alarm bells rung. It started quietly, barely audible, but then impossibly quickly, with each watchtower and post that came to life, more bells joined the choir until the sound became shattering and painful to hear. Ty Lee sprang to her feet.

“What’s going on?”

The bells rung in a pattern of 1 long chime, followed with a short pause and then 7 quick chimes.

“Escape attempt. 7th floor,” Min said. “The princess,” she explained.

“Oh.” Ty Lee’s arms hung to her sides, suddenly they were just too heavy. She looked at Min and Fu, both guards readied their spears, aiming it at the door, their stance ready. But no amount of ready would help them if Azula barrelled through here, their spears would be useless.

“You said, C-ko can throw lightning, right?” Fu said. His voice, that sounded youthful even before, cracked as he forced out the words. The tip of his spear was unsteady. 

Ty Lee stared at the door. She imagined Azula, surrounded by blue flames blasting it open. She could see it clearly, Azula walking leisurely past them, smirking. In her mind Azula wore the same armour, lipstick and make up as she had back then.

That wasn’t Azula anymore though. The Azula behind these walls wore no make-up, she was covered in grime and dust and dressed in dirtied robes. She thought about that fragile looking Azula, but then she saw her mad with rage, fighting her way through the Kyoshi Warriors tasked to guard her. She saw her burning them down one by one.

Ty Lee gasped, horror crept up in her chest. She should have never told Zuko that the girls were good enough. Deep down she had known a few weeks of training would never be enough to hold Azula. 

“Stop! We aren’t suppo—” Min yelled after her as Ty Lee ran through the door into the main building. 

She had to check on them. Her heart hammered as she raced up the stairs and passed slow-moving soldiers encumbered by their heavy armour. They shouted as she weaved through them but did not stop her.

Before she arrived at the seventh floor, she could smell it, that tell-tale smell of burnt fabric. Then she saw them. Crumbled against the walls, close to the alarm bell, were two Kyoshi Warriors, their robes singed. Ty Lee didn’t even know who was on duty right now. She rushed to their side. Behind her she could hear the heavy steps, the sound of soldier’s boots.

They were conscious. Ty Lee’s shoulders fell, relief washing over her. Aiko and Emi seemed to be alright, she could spot no burns on either of them, only their cloth and breast plates had been hit with fire and singed all over. Inside the cell she saw another person, dressed in a Fire Nation Army uniform. 

“She got us,” Aiko mumbled, “Lin over there was supposed to help her clean up, when she attacked.” 

“Is she —”

“Don’t worry, just knocked out” 

The soldiers she had passed on the staircase finally arrived. One of them barked orders to the rest as they approached the cell. 

“Where is she?” demanded the soldier ordering the others around. Her eyes flicked back and forth the hallway and she constantly looked behind her. She must have realized as well; they should have seen Azula on their way here. Maybe she could have squeezed herself through the tiny holes that they called windows, but then Azula would have been seen by the soldiers in the watchtower. Was she hiding inside somewhere, just waiting to ambush them or sneak her way out? Would she strike when Ty Lee least expected it? 

“Upstairs,” Emi said between heavy breaths. She held onto her right arm as she tried to stand up, pushing herself against the brick wall for support. 

“Lord Ozai,” Ty Lee whispered.

The soldiers froze, while the officer spun around to the staircase. “We can’t let her free him,” she said. “Three of you block the staircase, the others move in!” Ty Lee saw her shoulders quake for just a moment. “What are you waiting for,” she screamed as none of her troops moved. 

Ty Lee understood, because who wouldn’t be afraid of Azula? Who wouldn’t fear Ozai? Fear was something Ty Lee knew well. From a young age she had an intimate relationship with that feeling, after all she loved Azula, in some way, and she loved acrobatics with it’s risks and danger, with the uncertainty that gathered in her stomach. But once you walk up high on a tightrope you get used to the fear, you learn to push it down and take the first step. 

She took a deep breath. “Follow me,” she said. Azula had been here for weeks and was barely eating, with back-up she could do this. After a quick nod to Aiko and Emi she ran up the stairs.

Behind her the officer yelled, “You heard her, go!”

They scrambled after her. For all her bravado, Ty Lee hoped that Azula was already gone and that they would find Ozai’s cell empty with no traces of Azula or Ozai to be found. Zuko would understand that they had done what they could. Nooneelse would have to get hurt. She knew they wouldn’t be so lucky, when it came to Azula luck was never on Ty Lee’s side. Climbing the last few stairs she steeled herself. If Azula was still there, she would have heard them and she would be ready for them. She rounded the corner and prepared herself to dodge whatever Azula would throw at her. 

Her feelings had been right. Azula was still there. With her back turned to them, she stood at the end of the hallway in front of Ozai’s cell. Sprawled on the floor to her sides were two Kyoshi Warriors, they didn’t move. But neither did Azula. She just stood there, body completely still.

They still had the moment of surprise. Then two firebenders, with less armour than the armed soldiers, caught up with her. They jumped forwards. The fireballs they hurled at Azula passed by Ty Lee. The heat of the fire woke Ty Lee from her brief hesitation. She needed to get close enough to Azula. She had to act fast, and most importantly, she needed to act now. 

Azula spun around. One of her arms hung limb at her side. Emi or Aiko must have gotten a few hits in after all! Azula was already too late to defend herself against the firebender’s attack. The fire hit her and with just one hand to block the attacks Azula couldn’t stop them in time. Azula screamed as the impact threw her backwards. Her back slammed into the steel bars of the cell. 

Ty Lee rushed forward. From behind her the firebenders let loose a barrage of fire to cover for her. Azula struggled defending herself. The limb arm swung around uncontrolled as she barely managed to stay upright. Each attack threw her off balance again.

This was their best chance. But Ty Lee was too impatient. She should have known that attacking Azula from the front was a bad idea. The realization came too late. Just one step out of Ty Lee’s reach, Azula jerked up her knee. Fire formed at the base of Azula’s foot. With her Fists already in striking position, Ty Lee’s defense was wide open.

Then, for just a moment, Azula’s leg paused mid-strike. Confused she blinked at Ty Lee. It was enough time for Ty Lee’s fist to connect with her upper torso. Shock written all over her face Azula stumbled. Azula’s face was the same as the one she had worn at the Boiling Rock. Ty Lee’s next hit, lower this time, had Azula’s standing leg give in. The fire extinguished Azula fell forward. 

“Uff,” Ty Lee groaned as Azula’s body collapsed against hers with a thud. Ty Lee still remembered what it had sounded like, at the Boiling Rock, when Azula’s body had hit the floor. She wrapped both arms around her. Then quickly struck Azula along the spine and in the back of the neck. Azula’s now unconscious body was a lot lighter than Ty Lee had expected. Lifting her over her shoulder should not have been this easy. 

More soldiers arrived, a few of them taking care of the two knocked out Kyoshi Warriors. Taking a torch from the walls one soldier held it between the bars of the cell. In a corner, barely lit by the single torch, sat the man who called himself Phoenix King, resting against a wall, with short chains holding him captive, he looked at Ty Lee and Azula. Ozai scoffed.

“An embarrassment, just like her brother,” he laughed to himself.

“I am taking her to her cell,” Ty Lee said to one of the uniformed men. Her voice was chipper, and a little higher than necessary, the kind of voice boys liked. The man had approached her ready to grab Azula and carry her for Ty Lee, but froze when Ozai’s voice rang through the hallway. He nodded stiffly. Several soldiers followed her as she left Ozai’s absolutely hideous laugh behind. 

Azula would wake up not even half an hour later. Manacles wrapped around her joints she stirred in her bed. It was apparently the first time it had seen use. When Ty Lee had laid Azula down atop the stiff blankets stirred up dust tickled her nose. Now Ty Lee sat cross legged in front of the cell door, and watched. The other Kyoshi Warriors were recuperating and the other two were on their way here. Until then Ty Lee would wait with several guards standing in the hall unwilling to let Azula out of sight. They didn’t need to worry that much, it would take some more time before Azula could properly move again. Ty Lee had made one of guards put on the iron manacles back on Azula. In her hands the metal cuffs had felt so heavy, and Azula had weight so little, it had not felt right. 

The chains tied to the cuffs rattled while Azula rolled around in her bed, the limbs still unresponsive. She struggled against the paralysis for a while after waking. Then she grew still again. 

“I didn’t recognise you,” Azula said, “With all that clown make-up. Have you re-joined the circus, Ty Lee?”

Ty Lee bit her lip. After taking a deep breath she relaxed. Azula would get bored of this eventually if Ty Lee didn’t give her the satisfaction. She had been happy at the circus and Azula had ruined it. But that was a long time ago, Ty Lee was a different person now, or at least she hoped she was. 

“You taught them chi-blocking,” Azula said after a while. “Maybe you should have taught them to dodge a little better first.”

She was prodding, looking for something that would make her respond. Azula always knew how to look for that weak spot, found the one thing to say that hurt.

“Honestly, Ty Lee,” Azula drawled. “Did you think wearing that will make them trust you? Do you think those peasants would ever _really_ accept you?”

“Well, at least they are nicer to me than you were!” Ty Lee wanted to scream in frustration. How was Azula still winning, even in prison? That was just unfair! The moment Ty Lee had opened her stupid mouth Azula had smirked at her. Then Azula scoffed.

“Spare me your whining, apparently I was still too nice to you,” Azula said. 

“Too nice!?” Ty Lee shrieked. In the corner of her eyes she saw the guards wince, but she didn’t care. Voice loud and terribly high pitched, she continued. “Azula, you threw me into prison!” 

“You betrayed me first!”

“You set my safety net on fire!” 

“And that still didn’t teach you to fear me!” Azula was screaming now. Her body still limb was sprawled across her bed. She raised one hand slowly and Ty Lee got to her feet watching her carefully. Azula’s fist hit the stone wall beside her. “You still dared to defy me!”

“Defy you? You were going to kill Mai!”

Azula glared at her. Again she hit the wall behind her. Little sparks flickered around her knuckles. Ty Lee stared back at her.

“Why didn’t you escape?” Ty Lee asked. If they were already talking, she might as well ask, she thought.

“What?” Azula’s hand dropped back onto the bed.

“You could have easily gotten away. Right after knocking out Aiko and Emi.”

“Maybe I couldn’t bear to leave my father behind,” Azula replied. She turned her face away from Ty Lee, towards the brick wall her bed stood against. Ty Lee snorted,

“Sure.” 

“Is that so hard to believe? You think me that much of a monster, Ty Lee?” Azula said. A short pause followed, “you are right, of course. I didn’t exactly stick around for a misplaced sense of sentimentality.” 

Ty Lee wished Azula would just turn around again. Her voice was detached, but it was that put on detachment with that overplayed tone of amusement. Azula had said something like that on Ember Island, too, with the same voice and the same fake detachment. “Then why?”

Azula stayed quiet for a little while. Face still facing the brick wall. Even when lying Azula always looked straight ahead, unflinching. Ty Lee had admired it when they were children, that kinda confidence. She always wondered if Azula had any tells when she lied, now she wondered if Azula had tells when was being honest.

“It’s really gone. His bending,” Azula said. “I had to know for sure.”

Ty Lee did not know what to say. Azula’s voice was quiet. She sounded defeated.

“He laughed at me, you know. After all the trouble I went through to get to him. It’s funny, really. I did everything he wanted and now he laughs at me, he treats me just like Zuko.”

Ty Lee didn’t think it was funny. She sat down again. The guards around the hallway looked away from the cell, some fiddled with their weapons. To be perfectly honest, Ty Lee was not much more comfortable than them, but it must have been stranger for them to hear these things. 

“Like Zuko!” Azula raised her voice and it was shrill. Ty Lee flinched when Azula hit the wall with her fist again. “How dare he,” she sobbed. She hit the wall over and over again. “He can’t do this to me!”

“Azula,” Ty Lee said, but did not know how to continue.

“Leave!” 

“You know I can’t do that.”

“I want to be alone,” Azula said between sobs. “Leave!”

Ty Lee sat there for another hour, watching Azula bash her fist against the wall. Azula did nothing more than that, even after her body had recovered. She just continued to bang her fist against the stone brick. Ty Lee listened to her cry and sob, face always facing away from her. Even after the other Kyoshi Warriors arrived, Ty Lee stayed. She stayed until Azula, exhausted, had fallen asleep.


	4. Aang — Platypus Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aang pokes the platypus bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to be a series of short sequences in which Aang tries to get to know Azula over a certain timeframe but this first sequence became too long and I wanted to have other POVs in between Aang's attempts.

“Took you long enough.”

Aang stared at Azula a little dumbfounded. “Were you expecting me?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck. He tried to smile but Azula glared at him with such animosity that it came out all wrong and crooked. To be honest, he had been sure his visit would come as a surprise. They had only been back from Ba Sing Se for a day, and Zuko had not known prior to this morning that Aang wanted to do this. In fact, Aang had not been sure of this until last night. Well, if he were really honest with himself, he still wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. He had not told Katara or Sokka about this, but they would have been against this anyway so he noted their hypothetical disapproval and had decided to go regardless. 

Azula didn’t answer his question. She sat on her bed, back leaned against the wall and knees pulled close against her chest. “Get on with it!” she said.

“What?” Aang was a little lost. The two Kyoshi Warriors he looked to for help just shrugged. Slowly he took off the bag strapped over his right shoulder after leaning his glider against the hallway wall. Immediately Azula shrunk back, getting smaller and smaller, with shoulders pulled up high and wide eyes watching his every move.

“Don’t play dumb!” Azula yelled. “You are here to take away my bending, aren’t you?”

Oh. He took a step back from the cell door and raised both his hands up in the air, showing the palm of his empty hand. Azula’s gaze was fixed on the bag in his left hand. “That’s not why I am here,” he explained. 

“What else could you want?” Azula asked. “You are here to punish me for trying to escape, are you not?”

“No one is trying to punish you, Azula,” Aang said. Admittedly, he knew that didn’t sound very believable considering Azula was currently held in a prison cell. “See?” he said, tentatively he opened his bag. Then, without breaking eye contact, he pulled a single Pai Sho tile out of the bag. Azula blinked at him, like she didn’t recognise the thing he was holding.

“I am here to play Pai Sho with you! You know how to play, right?”

“What,” one of the Kyoshi Warriors exclaimed beside him. He didn’t look at them, carefully watching Azula’s reaction. It didn’t take much imagination to picture the surprised faces of the Kyoshi Warriors, there was no need to avert his eyes away from Azula. He would have loved to see them though. Zuko’s face had been hilarious when he told him his plans this morning.

Azula’s reaction wasn’t as funny. It was slow and mostly confused. She stared at him, constantly blinking. Did he break her? Azula always had a quip or witty retort. If she hadn’t looked so miserable, and hadn’t been imprisoned Aang would have felt vindicated for leaving her speechless. Okay, he still felt a little vindicated, but he wouldn’t rub it in like he would have done before. Even if it was tempting to poke the proverbial platypus bear.

“It’s the only game I know that you would know the rules to,” Aang said. “And everybody always says how smart you are, so I thought it would be fun!”

“Fun,” Azula repeated. Her shoulders dropped and her feet slid down the bed until they reached the stone floor. Her arms were still wrapped securely around her torso and the frown still etched into her features.

“Yes!” Aang grinned at her. “or do you not know the rules? I can teach you if you want!”

“Of course, I know the rules, Avatar,” she snapped. “Did Zuko put you up to this? What kind of trick is this?”

“It’s not a trick,” Aang said. He walked towards the cell door, when he saw Azula press her back against the wall in response, he stopped mid-step. “Sokka is pretty good at it, but nobody else really wants to play with me.”

Zuko had confided in Aang when they had sat on the steps to the Jasmine Dragon in Ba Sing Se. Until then he had been pretty tight-lipped about Azula after their initial agreement to not take her bending. That day a messenger hawk had arrived and informed him that Azula had knocked out the guards and might have escaped if not for Ty Lee. Zuko had almost taken Appa and flown back to the Fire Nation the moment he had gotten the note. But the note, written by Ty Lee had ensured him that it was fine, the situation was under control with more guards helping the Kyoshi Warriors and more security precautions. Now whenever they tried to help Azula wash up a Kyoshi Warrior would preemptively block Azula’s chi. Ty Lee had also told him to bring back lots of souvenirs for her. It hadn’t been enough to calm Zuko’s nerves, but the Fire Lord couldn’t afford looking unreliable on his first official visit. So he had stayed, even if he cut his stay a little shorter than originally planned.

Aang had listened to him. It was easier all the way in Ba Sing Se to see Azula as Zuko’s troubled sister who was sick and needed support. That Zuko again and again apologized for bothering Aang with this also helped. Zuko had said that he understood how Aang must feel hearing him talk about Azula in this way, that Aang didn’t need to help him with this, that this was their family's problem. He would never ask Aang to forgive Azula, he had assured Aang of this over and over. At the same time Aang knew Zuko had not forgiven Azula either, but he also knew that if Zuko abandoned Azula now, that there would be no Azula left to forgive. And Aang did not want that for his best friend, it would just be too sad. 

“What makes you think, I want to play with you?” Azula asked. “Go ask Zuko.”

“Zuko,” Aang said and made a face, “is really bad at Pai Sho.” Which was undeniably true. Whatever gift Iroh had for the game was definitely not something Zuko had inherited or learned from. And as much as his temper had calmed, he was even more impatient than Aang while playing and had been a sore loser every time. Much to the dismay of Sokka who had to see his Pai Sho board go up in flames. Zuko replaced it immediately, he hadn’t meant to set the board on fire, it really had been an accident. Accident or not, after that people stopped asking Zuko to play and everybody was happier for it.

Azula scoffed. “Why are you doing this?” 

“Well,” Aang looked around, “It just looks like you would be pretty bored here all day. So, why not play Pai Sho with me.”

“I am not playing Pai Sho with you, Avatar,” Azula hissed.

Looking at her now, it was hard to reconcile this Azula with the girl he had seen during the war. Somehow, it made sense, but at the same time it left Aang confused. “Can you open the door?” he asked one of the Kyoshi Warriors who hesitated at first but then abided by his request.

“What are you doing,” Azula said, “I told you I am not playing with you! Are you listening!?”

Ignoring her protests Aang sat down on the floor after entering her cell. With a big smile he took the board out of his bag and began preparing the game. Behind him the Kyoshi Warriors watched the scene unfold, stance ready to jump in if Azula made the wrong move. Something Aang was grateful for, but wished wasn’t necessary.

“Are you stupid!?” Azula screeched. “I could kill you right now!” 

Looking up at her from the board, Azula was still sitting on her bed. She hugged her knees to her chest. Not exactly threatening. Sure, the wild hair and angry face were scary and stuff but Aang knew an empty threat when he saw one. Right now, she reminded him a little of Zuko when they had first met, the family resemblance was uncanny. 

“You are not going to,” Aang said.

“Hah! Have you forgotten that I have done it before?” Azula smirked, clearly hoping to have found Aang’s weak spot.

“No,” Aang replied. He dropped his friendly tone and stared right at Azula. He would never be able to forget, the scar on his back made sure of that. “I have not.”

Her smug face crumpled. She gripped her knees so tightly it must have hurt. Azula’s fingernails, cut short and edges left dulled, pressed into her knees through the thin robes. It was odd for Aang to see someone scared of him. He only ever vaguely remembered the look of fear of those around him when the Avatar State had gotten out of control and when they had been looking for Appa he had been so upset that the fear other people showed had not really registered. Being feared while he peacefully sat on the ground preparing a match of Pai Sho was something new and something he did not want to get used to. 

“But,” Aang said, “I am still alive, aren’t I?”

Even though Aang forced himself to smile at Azula it did not calm her. She still watched every of his movements as if he were about to attack her. 

“Look,” he said, “I came here to play some Pai Sho.” Aang finished dividing up the tiles, then he leaned back and braced himself on his hands. “If you want to join, you can, but I am going to play some Pai Sho.”

The Kyoshi Warriors on duty shuffled uneasily back and forth. Aang felt sorry for them, he probably should have warned them of this little stunt before coming and given them some time to prepare. It had been a spur of the moment idea, in the middle of the night. After talking with Zuko in Ba Sing Se, he had puzzled over how to approach this. He had no idea how to help Azula, and therefore Zuko. He didn’t even know what to help Azula with exactly. Was he supposed to help her go back to the way she was before the comet? How would he even do that? He didn’t even know what she was like then, well he kinda did, scary and mean but that probably wasn’t all she was, at least he hoped that wasn’t all there was to Azula. Then Aang had realized just how wrong he had gotten the order of things. You really couldn’t help someone, if you didn’t know them. Nor would his help be genuine if he only did it for Zuko, or if he didn’t believe himself that there was something worth his efforts. He felt a little ashamed about the latter. Deep down, even with his monk-ly patience and forgiveness, Aang did not want to get to know Azula. Who would want to befriend the person who had intended to kill them and almost succeeded? But Zuko saw something in Azula worth saving, and so did Ty Lee. Aang just had to find it and what better way to find it than over a board game. Everyone liked those.

He had not expected Azula to agree on his first try. Honestly, he had actually expected a lot more resistance, a lot more fire. Maybe he shouldn’t have, because Azula looked tired, tired in a way that could not be fixed with sleep. Her eyes that followed his every move were alert and wide open, but everything else about her seemed exhausted. 

As she watched Aang play she stayed quiet. No screams, no insults. She just watched him place one tile after the next in a game of Pai Sho against himself. After a while even the Kyoshi Warriors relaxed a little. The first match Aang played against himself lasted 10 minutes, in which nobody said anything.

“Aw man,” Aang said. He scratched his forehead and then laughed. “I lost.” The words were followed by a little wink, that Azula didn’t seem to appreciate. 

“Why are you doing this?” Azula asked again while Aang prepared the board for another game. 

“Hm? I told you. I wanted to play Pai Sho with you,” he replied. 

“Leave!” Azula shouted. Behind Aang the Kyoshi Warriors readied their fans, but Aang held his hand up. 

“Nope,” he chirped back. Then he started his next game letting Azula stew in her anger. Azula was definitely smart enough to realize that attacking him was not an option. She was chained to a wall, weakened by lack of sleep and food. Also, attacking him would not do her any favours with Zuko either and while Aang knew that Zuko would not punish his sister more than necessary, would never have Aang take her bending for acting out, Azula probably did not. Generally speaking, attacking the Avatar was a bad idea, and Aang and Azula both knew that.

He smiled at her as he placed his next few tiles. It widened into a grin when he saw her twitch in anger as he deliberately played the stupidest moves he could think off. Everytime he first let the tile hover a little, then while making eye contact he slowly lowered the tile onto the grid. Aang, who really should have learned over this last year to not play with dangerous things, after riding the Unagi and other unfortunate accidents, could just not help himself. Poking a platypus bear would one day be his downfall, but until then he would continue having fun.

Said platypus bear was not enjoying herself as much. “Stop that,” Azula hissed.

“What do you mean?” Aang said. He waggled his eyebrows and smirked as one of the Kyoshi Warriors coughed awkwardly to hide a snort. Azula looked furious.

“You know exactly what you are doing!”

“No idea what you mean.” Aang shrugged. 

Azula let out a frustrated little scream, which was surprisingly unthreatening. Grinding her teeth she turned her face to the side and stared at the brick wall. 

Aang felt a little sorry for her then. He knew that it must have been humiliating for her, especially with the Kyoshi Warrior barely concealing their mirth. Messing with her was fun as it was dangerous, but he did come here to help her. 

“Look,” he said. “I will stop if you play with me.”

“I told you to leave,” Azula replied. Her body was shaking with an anger they both knew she could not let out unless she wanted to get chi-blocked again.

“Nope, not until I win a game against you,” he said. “I won’t leave you alone until then.”

“Then you will be rotting in this prison with me, it seems.”

Aang laughed. “Well, I am going to leave once it’s time for lunch. But I will come back until I win a match. That's a promise.”

“So I let you win, and you will stop bothering me?” Azula asked. Between her gritted teeth her words came out sharp, but not nearly as cutting as they had been during the war. Nothing about Azula was like it had been during the war.

Aang shrugged. “Yeah, sure,” he said and smiled at her. Pointing to the board he said, “We can play now, if you want.” Both knew that wasn’t gonna happen. There was no way Azula would accept losing to Aang, especially on purpose. She would never allow herself to lose like that; while she had been stripped of all dignity, she would not let anyone take her pride.

As expected Azula did not move from her bed, she just glared at him. And that was just fine with Aang, who continued to play out the match he had already started. The game was already ruined with his deliberate mistakes, but that was fine too. After all Pai Sho was a game about long-term strategies and taking a few losses in the beginning was all part of winning the game in the end. 


	5. Mai — Heliocentrism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mai does Zuko a favour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: Mai is not very nice to Azula in this chapter (at least at first). Words like crazy, unhinged and lunatic are used in something like tense 'friendly banter', skip the banter following Mai stating her reason for coming if banter using those terms lightly bothers you.
> 
> Either way, there is a lot of hurt, but also comfort at the end.
> 
> I am kinda struggling with the english language, but at some point I just stopped revising so I could finally upload this. Once again I want to apologize for the grammar etc.

Ba Sing Se had been fine. There had not been much to do for Mai, as it turned out that being the Fire Lord’s girlfriend was not enough to be invited to important meetings. All she did was hang out at Iroh’s tea shop waiting around for Team Avatar and Fire Lord to be done for the day. Sometimes she could tag along or wait in the palace, but most of the time she would rather spend her time drinking tea and flash her knives at unexpecting customers who then would abruptly leave the shop with a squeak. Most of the times the blind girl, Toph, hung around nearby. Her disinterest in all things politically rivaled Mai’s and they did have a good time scaring customers and occasionally wandering around the Upper Ring. Mai could only listen to Iroh playing the Tsungi Horn for so long without being driven insane, so she had to go and leave before throwing knives at her boyfriend’s beloved uncle. The Upper Ring was noisy, filled with nobles going about their day, all terribly busy but still able to spend hours wasting away in shops like Iroh’s. They were not much different than the Fire Nation nobles, not really, in all things that had mattered they were the same. It was odd to walk among them now, going unnoticed and sometimes even welcomed. 

In the now freed city of Ba Sing Se nobody cared that Mai had taken part in bringing it to its knees. Having finally seen the city properly, Mai questioned if it even was worth all the trouble conquering it. The stupid facepaint had made Mai’s skin break out for weeks. When she had voiced this thought one evening over a cup of tea, only Toph had laughed, while the other members of Team Avatar had looked uncomfortable. Everyone did their best to avoid mentioning their last visit to the city and what had happened, and when they did mention it around Mai they talked about it in a way that made Mai roll her eyes and want to pin them to the wall with her knives. Being the reformed Fire Lord’s girlfriend came with the assumption that Mai too regretted everything she had done up until the Boiling Rock. It was a careless assumption, an unspoken consensus agreed upon without Mai’s opinion taken into consideration. Toph was the only one that did not expect her to grovel in remorse, she also didn’t try to make awkward smalltalk or ask stupid questions.

It hadn’t taken long to become painfully apparent that Mai did not fit in well with Zuko’s new friends. Not that she had wanted to. When she had chosen Zuko, she had chosen Zuko not his merry band of do-gooders and their world views. She played nice though, as much as she was tempted to mess with them. She resented the notion that Azula had somehow forced her to do everything, that Azula had that much power over her. But it was easier to leave them in their beliefs. 

Considering Mai did not care much for the trip in the first place, she did not mind when they cut it a few days short. Spending time with the Avatar and his friends was dreadful and she had looked forward to returning to the palace, where she didn’t have to listen to them stutter through small talk they forced upon her again. Quite frankly she was also sick of Zuko’s panicked pacing and rambling through the tea shop which had become a nightly ritual since the messenger hawk had arrived. Even all the way to Ba Sing Se Azula managed to ruin Mai’s day. It was a talent, really. At first Mai was mostly just disappointed about the failed escape attempt. Returning to the Fire Nation capital with no Azula waiting for them in the darkness of a prison cell would have been a relief. The war was over, they should have all had their little happy end, but with Azula there was no happiness or endings. She had realized that quickly after her initial disappointment. Even if Azula managed to escape, Zuko would search for her without rest until he had found her again. Azula had wound herself around them like ivy and she would strangle them until their dying breath. 

But Zuko didn’t see that. He never would, as much as he pretended to, because deep down he could not let go. Once again they were building their lives around Azula. Her presence in their lives was felt even with an ocean between them, from when Mai woke up in the morning and the first sunlight shone through the curtains to when she watched the sun set in the evening. In the end it always came back to Azula. Without her she never would have met Zuko, she never would have betrayed the Fire Nation and never would have drank tea in Ba Sing Se with the war’s heroes like she belonged among them.

Without Azula she would have been just a noble man’s daughter, interchangeable with any of the other dozen rich girls her age who were about to be married away as bargaining chips. Her life would have been so boring and so predictable and she would have hated every second of it. Now she only hated some of it.

Right now, she really wished that she did not care about Zuko, so that she could have thrown his request back in his face and stormed out of the palace. It was a ridiculous favour he was asking of her. It was a waste of time, and would probably end up with either Mai on fire or Azula as a pin cushion for her knives.

“Oh, so traitor number one deigns to show her face after all,” Azula sneered. 

Mai rolled her eyes. Azula looked awful, but better than the last time she had seen her. She was sitting on her bed cross legged and almost seemed comfortable even with shackles wrapping around her joints. She rested her face on one of her hands and stared back at Mai. What was more interesting though was the book in Azula’s lap. When Azula closed it Mai could see that the cover was still a vibrant blue and the white silk cord holding it together looked almost new. 

“I wasn’t aware the prison had a library,” Mai said.

“It doesn’t,” Azula replied. “The Avatar took it from the palace library,” she explained. 

“And why would the Avatar do that?” Mai asked.

She was aware of the Avatar’s strange new Pai Sho habit. Zuko had paced around his room very much the same way as he had in Ba Sing Se, he had not been very fond of the idea at first. But after a few visits in the two weeks since their return from Ba Sing Se Zuko had come around the Avatar’s misguided attempts at getting closer to Azula. Mai on the other hand thought very little of this weird game Aang was playing, she could not even imagine what he hoped to achieve. She was glad someone was supporting Zuko, but did not think it was wise to encourage any delusions Zuko was harbouring about his sister, Ty Lee already did that enough. It was foolish, every kid in the Fire Nation learned early that fire was meant to burn, that fire would always burn those stupid enough to touch it. And yet Ty Lee and Zuko and maybe even the Avatar seemed to believe they could change the nature of fire itself. Firebenders or not, playing with fire would always end in pain.

“A book in exchange for a game of Pai Sho,” Azula said. “The Avatar was really surprised, when my first turn took until lunch.”

That probably explained Azula’s somewhat good mood. It must have felt great, to feel like she had outsmarted the Avatar once more. If only it weren’t so pathetic. Azula had to realize that the Avatar only played along to make her feel better about herself. There was no reason to let Azula keep the book, if the Avatar had not wanted her to have that book she would not have it. But then again Azula could have calculated with that kindness in mind, Azula probably noticed that leniency everyone treated her with.

“Too bad the Avatar’s taste in books is atrocious,” Azula said. 

“Oh?”

“It’s a transcript of ‘Love amongst the Dragons’.” 

For a moment it looked like Azula was about to light the book on fire, instead she just let it fall onto the ground with a heavy thud eyeing it disdainfully. The Avatar probably had not intended this, but Mai felt vindicated that there was still some sort of justice, even if it was all thanks to the Avatar’s limited knowledge of Fire Nation literature. He probably picked the first book he had seen off the shelves that had a fun title, it was unlikely he knew Azula’s history with the work. That he would pick the favourite work of Lady Ursa to bring Azula was the kind of poetic irony Mai wished the world had more of.

Mai snickered, “You hate that play.”

Azula glared at her. “Yes, but not nearly as much as I hate you,” she said. “Are you here because dear Zuzu asked, or are you here to delight in my misery?”

“Zuko send me here to cut your hair,” Mai said.

“Always these surprises with my visitors, it’s never what I expect,” she said. Azula smiled. “Please go back and remind Zuko that he has a nation to run into the ground before he starts to concern himself with my appearance. A haircut is the last thing I need.” 

“I didn’t know unhinged was in style this season,” Mai scoffed.

“It’s all the rage in prison.”

“Oh, must have become a thing after I got out then.”

It was an easy rhythm this back and forth. With Azula any conversation was nothing more than a contest, a test of wit much like a game of Pai Sho. It did not matter that the words were harsher and threats real, in that regard Azula would never change.

“A shame really.”

“That I got out? Or that I missed it?”

Azula shrugged. “It would have suited you,” she said and leaned back against the brick wall. She examined her nails, and Mai wanted to roll her eyes again. She had shown Azula that move, and it wasn’t like there was much to examine. Azula’s nails that had been tended to by dedicated servants at one point had been cut down, probably to avoid injury and their shine was dulled without the usual treatment and care. Mai almost felt pity; Azula had always put so much work into her perfect appearance, and it was after all the reason Mai was here in the first place.

“I do wonder,” Azula said. She squinted at Mai. “Why you? Why would he ask you?” 

“Who else?” Mai asked. “The servants don’t get paid enough to risk their necks just to make you look less like a lunatic.”

“Ty Lee could do it, she already comes here to bother me anyway.” 

Mai sighed. “Zuko asked her,” she replied. “But apparently, she said that she was just too clumsy and would just ‘ruin’ your hair.”

“And Zuzu believed that?” Azula laughed. Mai hated the way Azula laughed, always out of spite or at others misfortune, it was so unlike Zuko’s and just too similar to Mai's own laughter. It reminded her of days spent in school mocking their classmates and that easy cruelty they had enjoyed so much. Azula’s laughter was a reminder of all those things that she did not want Zuko to see, not now that he surrounded himself with so much goodness that it made Mai’s skin crawl. One day Zuko would see all the ways Mai would never be kind or good, the ways Mai and Azula were the same, bitter and spiteful, and then Azula would probably laugh again.

“Ty Lee always had a way with boys,” Mai said and laughed. She was allowed to be spiteful, here where Zuko would not see. Ty Lee still played dress-up with those warrior peasants, masquerading all those little bits and pieces of her that would never fit into this new world Zuko was building. All those edges and sharp corners that the boys never saw, but Ty Lee knew how to use. Ty Lee, who looked sweet and cute and knew when to laugh and how to laugh, was just so easy to love, so unlike Azula and Mai, but so much more clever than people thought. Out of the three of them Ty Lee had the best chances to exist in this world of goodness, of peace and tranquility.

Mai could have told Zuko no, and she could have told him that Ty Lee had 6 sisters and lived with a circus and has literally helped Azula with her hair before. But Mai didn’t. Instead she complained and told him that it would be on him if she got electrocuted and made her way to the prison the next day with scissors and comb in hand. How utterly frustrating it was, that Mai knew what Ty Lee was doing and let it happen anyway. 

“The question is, why would I let a traitor anywhere near me, especially with sharp blades?” Azula asked. She stared at Mai. 

“Because you hate looking like the Avatar’s blind friend cut your hair,” Mai said. “And because if I really wanted to slit your throat, I could do it from here.” The Kyoshi Warriors tensed, they glanced at her and were clearly uneasy. It was silly, but they probably were unfamiliar with not so idle death threats among friends. It must have been nice to grow up somewhere that was not the Fire Nation palace. They also might have forgotten to consider that one of Azula’s visitors would wish to harm her instead of the other way round, a glaring oversight in Mai’s opinion, simply because Azula had more enemies than friends. With Azula’s scarce amount of friends that wasn’t really surprising, but Azula had always been an overachiever and the number of enemies she had collected in just 14 years was nothing but impressive.

Azula scoffed. “Pretty confident for someone who barely made it out alive the last time.”

It was ridiculous to play this unnecessary game. Azula had to know that there was no point to this. All of these barbs and insults, the threats, it was not real, they were in a stalemate in which neither could really harm the other.

“You won’t hurt me,” Mai said. It was tiresome to explain this and voice this reality out loud to someone who should have realized it weeks ago. “If you hurt me, Zuko will not forgive you. And if I hurt you, Zuko won’t forgive me.” It was a truce forced upon them, and yet spared them of doing things they might have regretted otherwise. 

“Hah,” Azula laughed. “Are you sure about this? He might thank you for making his life easier.” 

Perception was a curious thing, and Azula’s perception even more so. She had always been so clever and attentive; Azula saw things other people missed, and used them to her advantage. Yet she seemed incapable of understanding the simplest things. Well, it figured that Azula would assume everyone to be like her. It must have been impossible for Azula to imagine that Zuko actually cared for her, after all Azula cared for no one but herself. 

“Will you let me cut your hair, or not? I don’t have time for your games.” 

Truthfully she had all the time in the world, there was nothing waiting for her at the palace and she hadn’t been to her parent’s estate since the coronation. Her days were currently being wasted away lounging around and ordering servants around to amuse herself while Zuko was stuck with his duties. But she had tired of this game quickly, and would rather not spend more time than necessary in this dreadful place.

Azula opened her mouth, likely to shoot back a derisive comment and prolong this nonsensical back and forth but then she stopped. Still staring at Mai she folded her hands in her lap. Mai raised an eyebrow at her as Azula’s hand twitched again and again while she seemed stuck in deliberation. Azula exhaled slowly before she said, “very well. It is not like you could make it much worse.”

Mai absolutely could make it worse, and was very much tempted to do so. “Thanks, for the vote of confidence,” she grumbled. She stared at the Kyoshi Warriors expectantly, who after a short moment of hesitation opened the cell door. They followed Mai inside, their hands rested on their fans and they watched both Mai and Azula cautiously. 

In front of Mai Azula stood up, each move taking longer than it had to be. The princess had always liked to make other people wait on and for her. Controlling the pace of this asinine visit was, as Mai realized, likely the only real control Azula had, so she curbed the urge to tell her to hurry it up. The chains tied to Azula’s joints rattled when Azula sat down again, now in the middle of the ground, her back turned to Mai, her legs crossed over the other. Azula made a show of making eye-contact before turning around as if to dare Mai to stab her in the back once more.

Mai kneed down on the hard and dusty prison floor. She would need to change once she got back to the palace. After instructing Azula to lean her head back she pulled out the comb out of the satchel she had brought. 

Azula’s hair had seen better days. Even on their journey through the Earth Kingdom it had never looked this bad. Of course back then, Ty Lee had basically tripped over herself to do Azula’s hair in the evening. “It’s like we are having a sleepover,” Ty Lee had said back then and would offer to do Mai’s hair. Mai figured that most sleepovers did not include tracking the Avatar and taking over the capital of a kingdom to bring glory to the Fire Nation, but Ty Lee always said such things, like it was all just a game. Idly Mai wondered if Ty Lee helped her new warrior friends do their hair every night.

Trying to tease out the knots in Azula’s hair without ripping out most of it was turning out to be a challenge. Again and again the comb snagged against tangles of hair and everytime Azula hissed in anger. As soon as she had disentangled one particularly horrid knot another would take its place. It must have been quite some time since anyone had really taken care of it, and even longer since it had been treated with oils or similar.

“What a shame,” Mai muttered. She recalled the dozen of times Ty Lee had fawned over Azula’s hair, how smooth it was, how beautiful it shone, and Mai too had admired it at times. It had been as perfect as Azula herself, but now there was nothing perfect left in the Fire Nation, it had crumbled and left nothing behind but the rubble of a nation raised on war and destruction. Mai’s finger grazed over a strand of hair to its split ends. “You always had such beautiful hair.”

Azula’s hand darted upwards. Her fingers coiled around Mai, feeling unnaturally hot they clutched Mai’s wrist. The dull fingernails dug deep through the fabric into Mai’s skin. “What did you just say?” Azula snarled. She twisted her head slightly, eyes fixed on Mai. More than anger was written across her face. Behind the fury her expression was steeped in terror; Azula’s eyes were wide and panicked. 

“I said you had beautiful hair,” Mai said. Heat spread from her wrist. With it Mai’s heart began to hammer against her ribcage. This was the Azula Zuko had talked about, the one who had faced him during the comet, the very same Azula that had wanted to end Mai’s life on the Boiling Rock. She yanked her hand free. The change in atmosphere had been so fast, the Kyoshi Warriors had barely reacted before it was over again. Azula dropped her hand again, folding both hands in her lap. Then she turned her face away from Mai before she became completely still. 

Mai closed her eyes for a moment. With a sigh she brushed the comb through the ends of Azula’s hair. Behind her the Kyoshi Warriors frowned when Mai shot a quick glance at them, signaling them to continue standing around uselessly. Mai would need to talk with Zuko about Azula’s reaction, it had been more than volatile, especially following such an innocuous compliment. 

Mai looked back to Azula. She had meant to make a dry remark, something that was sarcastic and biting, but mostly something that felt normal between the two of them. But as she turned her focus back to Azula, she saw Azula’s shoulders quiver. They were just barely visible shakes, but Azula’s hands that had been folded into her lap were now clutching her arms and her breaths were unsteady. Azula sobbed quietly and Mai forgot what she had wanted to say.

Azula had always been good at making others cry. Finding the right words to cut just deep enough that tears would spill came easy to her. She took pleasure in it, crying was a proof of their inferiority after all. As a child Azula almost never cried, and in turn Mai and Ty Lee had not cried either. At least not where Azula could see. Ty Lee would have known what to do, but Mai did not. When people cried she gave them a handkerchief, and only when she was feeling generous. Crying was ugly, the snot, the tears, Mai detested them all. Unlike Azula, who was cruel, or Ty Lee, who was kind, Mai did not enjoy emotions, she avoided them and the people that came with them. Zuko had been an exception, and she feared Azula would make it the norm. She wanted no part in this and yet she stayed.

Mai never missed her parents, not even when they were travelling through the Earth Kingdom. Nor did she miss her little brother, who constantly cried, and was two parts gross and one part annoying like all babies were. But sometimes on their travels she had felt something like it. On days that were too long and Azula frustrated and nothing worked out in their favour, she had wished she were back home. Not in Omashu or New Ozai or whatever they called it, no, she wanted to be back in the Fire Nation, back in school, maybe even back to the palace gardens and sit by the turtle duck pond. Ty Lee always seemed to know, it was those days she insisted on doing Mai’s hair as well. It was on those days that Mai let her. 

Ty Lee’s knuckles would brush against her skalp, shoulders and neck, while Ty Lee sat closer than necessary. Mai had many servants and ladies touch her hair before, they were always gentle, but none did it like Ty Lee, who hummed to herself and only stopped once Mai felt like she was watching the turtle ducks once more. 

Ty Lee always smiled, and that was something Mai could not. But she could hum old Fire Nation lullabies, loud enough to drown out the sound of sobs and let her fingers glide gently through Azula’s hair. She could make sure her fingers brushed over Azula’s shoulders and continue even after all the knots had been untangled. 

“Bring me some water,” Mai said to the two Kyoshi Warriors. There was water besides Azula’s bed, but Mai did not wish to move and she did not wish to walk past Azula. She would let Azula hide her face, let her stay turned away from the peasants and the traitor. 

Until one of them returned with some fresh water Mai continued to comb through Azula’s hair and as time passed Azula's sobs grew too loud to be covered by Mai’s humming. The Kyoshi Warriors looked at Azula with such pity and Mai was glad that Azula could not see it. Mai declined wordlessly when the remaining Kyoshi Warrior approached her with a handkerchief. It would be too cruel to offer Azula. This kindness born in pity would be crueler than any scorn to someone like Azula who had nothing left but her pride.

After the other one returned with a jar of water Mai began wetting the ends of Azula’s hair. Then Mai pulled out the scissor, one hand resting atop Azula’s shoulder. She cut off only what was necessary, taking care to even out the hair and snipping the split ends. When it came to the fringe, the worst of what Azula had done to her hair, she rose up to her knees, and gently took hold of the hair falling in front of Azula’s face and raised it so she could see it from behind. It had not grown long enough yet, so Mai did what she could. It would not be the way it had been, the fringe would stay, it was not long enough to be tied back like Azula used to. But maybe that was fine, after all nothing was the way it had been. 

Mai fished out a hairband from her satchel. Carefully she gathered Azula’s hair and tied it into a top-knot. Not as tightly as Azula would have. Since they had been children, her hair had been tugged into this knot every day, not one out of place, always perfect. She wondered if it gave Azula comfort, to feel the pull of the hair tie, the normalcy of it. Mai rose to her feet and brushed the dust and hair off her clothes. Azula’s shoulders still shook, but her sobs had ceased. There was nothing more Mai could do for her. Mai had nothing left to give Azula in which to find solace, she doubted there was anything found in a prison cell that could.

When Mai left Azula’s cell she continued to hum all the way to the palace. All the songs for the children in their Nation sung of war, soldiers and of honor, but if you stripped them of their lyrics and just hummed their melodies they could be beautiful. Mai wondered if Azula, stripped of the war, beneath the control and the violence, could be beautiful too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last year I had to start cutting my partner's hair and it was very stressful. And even now l still don't know how cutting hair works...


End file.
